Stepping out from Behind the Stones

Welcome to Stepping Stones! My name is Lysbeth Neel, and I am always learning and growing in this fascinating world around us. I offer perspective, just like anyone does, but instead of clogging up facebook I share it with the world through my blogs. Take a moment to scroll through.
Like what you see? Let me know!

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Down on my Luck

Frustrated. Damn right. No one saw this one coming. I took a sip and again I am down the drain, another one down and more on the way, not to mention the hate pouring from my heart.
I hope to wake up one day and feel like I can deserve some kind of praise. I need help. No body understands why I work so hard, because for me its not natural to do the things they do. I can't belt and I can't be perfect.
I am drowning in a world full of people who don't understand that what I am struggling through can't be fixed right away.
All I know to do is run, so I am gonna run far far away from all the thoughts and drowning, and i will eventually stop and find a place perfect for me, and maybe I will succeed at something. But for now I get to suffer through the pain and shit. Everything I know is a lie.
Why cant I just be normal or better at what I love?
Why did you curse me with this God?
I am not sure what I believe in anymore or who I should depend on, I know I have a good support group here and great friends, but I just can't handle this. I feel myself slipping back into depression and cutting and wanting to leave this place for ever. I will never make it in this world, I am a quitter. I don't believe in things lasting, because I have never succeeded. I want to stop the negativity but its too hard.
Suffering is just a passing by memory, one day I will go far and they will see that. I am sorry to go on like this,  but I just needed to vent. Help me out, let me know what I can do.

No comments:

Post a Comment