Complicated

So I am sitting there on the edge of a sturdy yet not brand new dock. I can see him walking down the grassy lawn on his way to talk with me. As usual he is dressed casual with those torn up shirts from working on his family's house and he has those super sexy aviators on, sun glinting off the rims, like he was part of a band or glamorous chick flick movie.Sure, he is totally the guy for me, except the fact that the only reason he is here is cause he is about to break my heart. Two full years of preteen dating, and 4 years before that full of exciting adventures as kids. 

I didn't know this at the time, but it wouldn't matter what he said cause six weeks later I would be walking alone on the streets headed for an entire different path than I thought I would be on.I would leave my family and everything behind, and meet more guys I ever dreamed of. Goodbye little home-schooled girl and hello high-school.I would learn so much in the little time it would take it change my entire life. 

Yeah ,that's right, life is downright crappy at times, and excuse my language but you cant get through this life without a little shit getting in your way. Complicated. That's life, that is absolutely everyday of my childhood, preteen years and high-school. I didn't go into these years knowing it would be that way, I ,like all other kids my age, had to read all the "coming of age" stories and figure this shit out on my own.And doing that is not easy, take it from me. Yeah I feel like almost everything has happened to me, but that's not exactly true. I had to really dig my self out of a grave by the time I hit 16. I have heard it all, "your so young to go through this", "its a wonder you can keep going", "are you sure that your mental state isn't being challenged by all that's happening in your life?". Counselors, Doctors,Judges and Social Workers. Parents, adults, siblings...oh geez the siblings. That's for another entry. You think its all piling on you at one time and then, it gets weird.

For me, it was him getting back to me with an ultimatum. "You need to come back to your parents house and get your life together or I can't speak to you again". Some days I feel like my parents put him up to saying that, but honestly that is so way too low of my parents.  I gave up, cause I realized it is just way to .... yup that's right, COMPLICATED.

No really there is a simple key to living this life, and I have gotten good experience at this one. Make it less complicated, meaning cleanse your life. Cleanse your room, your baggage, and all those friends you think are your actual friends. Stop trying to convince yourself your someone you are not. Be yourself for goodness sake! Who wants to be around a poser? No one. Being yourself is the biggest cleanser of all. You aren't worried about what people think and you can just live. So much easier. Try it. 

Now I am not saying it's just not gonna be complicated anymore, but instead of wasting your energy and time, use it to the best of you.
WE ARE WHO WE ARE. You just can't change that no matter what you do.