Of recent, I have found myself back at square one with one hand on the wheel of a relationship and the other trying to dial 911. Now that is just a metaphor, making that clear before I move on. I haven't been one to really accept the fact that I have an anxiety disorder, and that its hard for me to deal with relationships in particular. I am very insecure and often second guess everything there is to do about having a boyfriend. I can't deal with the fact that I am not in control all the time of everything, and that I don't know what the other person is thinking and I can't schedule everything.
Truth is, I am not meant for relationships. I don't do them and as hard as it is for those who have fallen for me or love me, they have to realize I am so much better off in my life right now, without that type of stress. If you can't realize that and be the friend, the bigger person and accept I can't be in a relationship, than I am sorry. I am sorry for any guy who falls for me, because I am not worth it and most definitely more trouble than anything.
So here is to being single, and here is to knowing that I will have to deal with my relationships in the future with care, because I don't deal well because of my anxiety.
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