Confessions of Lost Child

Butterflies fly around my room and sparkles from the sunlight drift in as if it was a fairy tale. But it is one, always was. The day you wake up from childhood and step into adulthood is the worst day of your life. You can never go back, which means you spend the rest of your life desiring to be that little child again. The never ending dream of catching butterflies and frolicking in the sunshine, not caring how you look or having to impress anyone with your actions. Its really a sense of freedom.
One day I will die and be free of those tedious adult thoughts.
The closest I get to that Child inside me is when I dance. Drifting across the wood floor, slipping away into a sense of happiness that is short lived and simple. Feeling like you can fly across the floor in a flash of twirls and dips and steps. That couple seconds of feeling when you feel absolutely free. NO one can take it away from you. You close your eyes and get lost into the music. It's as if you stepped into a painting and all the colors wrap you up and move you around till you can not stop them anymore and you give in to the music. YOU run, and walk and jump. You do anything you want to do, because you can.
I want that forever. That's my reason for dying. That is the reason I can't wait to slip into a sleep I won't wake up from. So I can be eternally young. I can finally be free. No more pain, no more decisions and no more baggage. The only tears I will be shedding is those of pure happiness. Glistening like diamonds on my cheeks, they will be full of memories that I can let go of and be the little child I have always been.
Really we all are children we just get to a point where we cover it up with superficial characteristics, because we think that the word "childish" means something not worth our time, as if it has no importance. Ironic isn't it? Cause deep down inside we all know that the Child inside of us makes us who we are. It's the best part of us.